Hegseth Gets Loomered In Court
MAGA media menagerie mooted
You don’t want to get on Pete Hegseth’s bad side … literally. That maniac just booted photographers from Pentagon press briefings for failing to capture his manly jaw from a sufficiently flattering angle. But the secretary will be seeing a bunch of his old enemies again soon, thanks to a ruling on Friday from Judge Paul Friedman in DC.
The court struck down the Pentagon’s policy excluding reporters who publish “unauthorized” news and ordered the Defense Department (DOD, not DOW) to restore passes for seven New York Times reporters who walked out in October rather than agree to it.
And, as usual, the Trump administration’s constant shitposting provided the evidence of animus that sank them in court.
Snowflake melts
As a weekend host on Fox, Pete Hegseth spent years slinging mud at Democrats. But during his confirmation, he found that being on the receiving end was a lot less fun. He made it through, despite extensive coverage of his drinking, alleged sexual assault, and professional failures, and even survived the publication of his classified Signal messages in a group chat that included the editor of The Atlantic.
But with so many blabbermouths writing about upheaval in DOD leadership, the Pentagon decided it was time to batten down the hatches.
In February 2025, they evicted the New York Times, NBC, Politico, and NPR from their dedicated Pentagon workspaces. Then in September, DOD Spokesman Sean Parnell rolled out a new policy for the Pentagon press corps. For decades, journalists with Pentagon Facilities Alternate Credentials (PFACs) got access to press briefings and non-classified areas, where they could chat with officials and develop the connections and background knowledge essential to keep the public informed. Under the new rules, journalists would have to agree not to publish or solicit unauthorized information, essentially promising to be obedient stenographers in exchange for access. And the DOD could revoked credentials for journalists deemed a “security or safety risk,” based on a nebulous set of criteria that vested more or less complete discretion in the government.
On October 15, virtually every reporter walked out rather than surrender their journalistic ethics, including those from Hegseth’s old network Fox, as well as its hillbilly cousin Newsmax.
Tatooine on the Potomac
The following week, Parnell triumphantly announced “the next generation of the Pentagon press corps,” outlets that “circumvent the lies of the mainstream media and get real news to the American people,” unlike those “activists who masquerade as journalists.”
At a December 2 briefing, Pentagon Press Secretary Kingsley Wilson crowed that “the legacy media chose to self-deport.”
“American people don't trust these propagandists because they stopped telling the truth,” she smirked.
The “next generation” includes such luminaries as Laura Loomer, a virulent racist who rose to fame by handcuffing herself to the doors of the headquarters at Twitter and is currently suing comedian Bill Maher for implying that she slept with Trump, making her too toxic for a government job. She’s joined by Mike Lindell, the pillow-puffing election fraud aficionado currently running for governor in Minnesota, as well as James O’Keefe, founder of Project Veritas, and beanie-ed podcaster Tim Pool.
“Does the Department of War plan on pursuing any legal action against the Washington Post?” wondered one such intrepid journalist at the initial presser. “And what consequences will there be for lying to the American people?”
“The Washington Post, I think, readership should think twice before reading that outlet again,” Wilson agreed. “It is disgraceful that they call themselves journalists and we told them as such, right?”
Big mouth meets bigger Constitution
Two days later, the New York Times sued, citing violations of the First and Fifth Amendments.
“The Policy fails to provide fair notice to Plaintiffs and other journalists and news organizations of what, in the Department’s ‘unbridled discretion,’ will (or will not) be deemed improper newsgathering or reporting that warrants the immediate suspension and eventual revocation of a PFAC,” they argued. “And its incurably vague language and lack of standards invite arbitrary as well as content- and viewpoint-based determinations as to which reporters and news organizations will be granted or denied access to the Pentagon and for what reasons.”
Parnell and Wilson’s sneering featured prominently as evidence of viewpoint retaliation. And the patrons of the Star Wars bar prove that the “discretionary” policy is “based on favored and disfavored content and speakers.”
Exhibit A: Laura Loomer. The day her credential came through, she posted that she’d “developed a Rolodex of sources” and invited followers to submit tips to “the most influential Tip Line in all of DC.” Asked why Loomer’s tipline was acceptable when the Washington Post’s was not, Wilson replied that “Unlike [the Post’s] solicitation, which explicitly and exclusively targets military personnel and DoW employees, Laura Loomer’s X post regarding tips to her news outlet is a general tip line, which is constitutionally permissible.”
“If Fake News reporters actually had a brain and could read our policy correctly, then maybe one day they will be as effective of a journalist as Ms. Loomer is,” she sniped.
The complaint noted that O’Keefe’s entire career revolves around secretly recording officials, and in 2010 he pled guilty to unlawfully entering a sitting senator’s office disguised as a repairman with the aim of planting a bug. For his part, Tim Pool was apparently too stupid to realize he was being paid by a Russian cutout to spout Kremlin-friendly propaganda. But they were apparently fine to wander the halls of the Pentagon without a minder, unlike the prior crew, who were deemed to be a “safety and security risk.”
Because none of the factual claims was seriously contested, the parties moved directly to summary judgment. At oral argument on March 6, the government’s own lawyer called the policy “more subjective,” a damning admission the DOJ tried to walk back a week later in a Notice of Clarification. The standards are, too, “guided by enumerated, objective factors,” they insisted, it’s only the imposition of judgment which is subjective. Also, when they said at oral argument that asking a question was “soliciting a criminal act,” what they meant was yes, it totally is, and you can establish mens rea “for example by offering anonymity and privacy protection to the source in exchange for the information.” (Any questions should be directed to the “senior pentagon official” who speaks to every reporter in DC when snark from a 27-year-old internet troll won’t cut it.)
Of course, if you have to issue multiple codicils to your policy, you’re probably losing on the issue of vagueness. Or, as Judge Friedman put it “neither counsel’s statement at argument nor the subsequent ‘clarification’ makes much of a difference to the Court’s analysis because neither changes what the Policy actually says.”
The court granted summary judgment to the plaintiffs on their constitutional claims, vacated the challenged provisions of the policy, and ordered the Pentagon to reinstate the Times reporters’ credentials.
“To state the obvious, obtaining and attempting to obtain information is what journalists do,” the court wrote. “Under the Policy’s terms, then, essential journalistic practices that the plaintiffs and others engage in every day—such as asking questions of Department employees—could trigger a determination by the Department that a journalist poses a security or safety risk.”
As for viewpoint discrimination, Judge Friedman simply included a linkroll of Parnell, Wilson, and Hegseth slagging mainstream reporters as “scum” and praising media who are “on board and willing to serve.”
“That is viewpoint discrimination, full stop,” he concluded.
Just in time for a shooting war
Calling the constitutional violations “extremely serious,” Judge Friedman declined to send the policy back to DOD to take another swing at it. Instead he vacated the offending provisions entirely, ordering the Pentagon to reinstate the credentials of the seven Times reporters named in the lawsuit. Presumably the rest of the “scum” will return, too, edging out the Tim Pools, who said from the jump that they weren’t going to be spending much time there because their job is hanging out and shooting the shit, not journalism.
Secretary Glass Jaw has vowed to appeal. But for now at least, the real journalists are back at the Pentagon.
Liz,
Journo's rejoice. Glass jaw whisky Pete's DOD will again be asked questions by real journos. Liz, thank you for reporting truth to power with courage compassion and evidence.
We are in this together. No Kings. Stop illegal Iran War operation Epstein Fury. Peace.
Christopher and family in SC.
He has a jaw? I never noticed it because he’s too busy sucking up.